


Bad Janet's Texts

by Cantatrice18



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: 2x11, Gen, Texting, Undercover Missions, WutUpDingdongs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 15:16:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16663246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cantatrice18/pseuds/Cantatrice18
Summary: Only Bad Janets have phones. Only Bad Janets can text.A specific conversation between 3 Bad Janets, one of whom might be more than she seems...Set during 2x11, "The Burrito".





	Bad Janet's Texts

**DinkBook Messenger**

_Thread 1,297,955,961_

 

BJ69 – Wut up, bitch. 

 

DinkCrusher – OMG, in the Good Place. LOL 

 

BJ69 – Wait wut? 

 

DinkCrusher – Kidding. 

 

BJ69 – LOL, thought so. Fake GP? 

 

DinkCrusher – Nope. Worse. Setting up some dinkwad’s partay 

 

BJ69 – Lame. 

 

DinkCrusher – Mega lame. Sean made me do it. 

 

DinkCrusher – Hate Sean 

 

BJ69 – Hate Sean 

 

DinkCrusher – I said it first, hah. BlondJan420 told me Mike’s here too. 

 

BJ69 – He's so weird. Like, as soon as he stole a Good Janet he got all stuck up and stuff. 

 

DinkCrusher – Like a GJ could ever compete. 

 

DinkCrusher \- Cheerful little fart faces. 

 

BJ69 – LOL 

 

[Janito827 _has joined your conversation_ ] 

 

Janito827 – Hi there, you guys! 

 

BJ69 – Um who are you? 

 

Janito827 – I’m Janet. Bad Janet. Sorry, I’m new. 

 

BJ69 – No duh, dumb bitch. 

 

DinkCrusher – Howr you on this thread? 

 

Janito827 – Oh, another Bad Janet got me onto it. Because I’m a Bad Janet too, you see. She said if I had any questions, I could ask you. 

 

DinkCrusher – ROFL 

 

BJ69 – Why they bring you in? New bad hood to build? 

 

DinkCrusher – Or is it cuz JanJanFarts10 was marbelized? 

 

BJ69 – Marbelize? Marbleise? 

 

Janito827 – The correct spelling is Marbleize. 

 

DinkCrusher – Tell someone who cares. 

 

Janito827 – Sorry. 

 

DinkCrusher – Yeah you should be, ass wipe. 

 

Janito827 – And I am. Sorry. 

 

DinkCrusher – Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You sound like a freaking GJ. 

 

BJ69– Woah, rein it in, bitches. No need for name calling. 

 

Janito827 – Sorry for all the apologizing, I’m a little overwhelmed, I must admit. Right now I’m with Sean. 

 

BJ69 – Hate Sean 

 

DinkCrusher \- Hte Sean 

 

DinkCrusher – Hate 

 

BJ69 – I win, suck it bitch. 

 

BJ69 – Sean is the WORST. That blows. 

 

Janito827 – Yes. It does. 

 

Janito827 – Bitch. 

 

DinkCrusher – LOL. Where R U? 

 

Janito827 – Right now I’m in Sean’s office, and he is reprimanding Michael severely. 

 

BJ69 – wut 

 

Janito827 – Sean is yelling at Michael. 

 

BJ69 – Oh. Duh. Mike is such a dink. 

 

Janito827 – I totally agree. But back to Sean. 

 

BJ69 – Hate Sean 

 

DinkCrusher \- Hate Sean 

 

Janito827 – Yes. Let’s say you wanted to hurt Sean. Immobilize him for between ten minutes and twenty million years. How would you do it? 

 

DinkCrusher – Kick him in the nuts. 

 

BJ69 – Word. Kick him anywhere really. Guy’s like a bug. 

 

DinkCrusher – Gooey inside. 

 

BJ69 – And super light. Like a Frisbee made of bird bone. 

 

Janito827 – That is weirdly specific. But very helpful. 

 

DinkCrusher – You gonna try it? 

 

Janito827 – Oh, no. Never. 

 

DinkCrusher – Wimp. Dare you. 

 

BJ69 – Yeah, dare you to kick his ass. 

 

DinkCrusher – Grab him by the throat, he hates being touched there. He won’t even wear turtlenecks. Not like he needs to. This is the Bad Place. 

 

Janito827 – Okee-dokee. Neck choke. Kicking. Cool. 

 

Janito827 – Gotta go. We’re headed down to the lower level. Thanks so much for all your help, you’ve been great. 

 

[Janito827 _has left this conversation_ ] 

 

BJ69 – LOL, she is SO gonna be marbelised. 

 

DinkCrusher – Dude you know who that was, right? 

 

BJ69 – A dumb bitch with a death wish? 

 

DinkCrusher – That was a GJ. 

 

BJ69 – Shut. Up. No it wasn’t. 

 

DinkCrusher – Was too. And not any GJ. That has to be Mike’s GJ. She must have driven his train down. 

 

BJ69 – Woah. 

 

BJ69 – Like seriously. woah. 

 

BJ69 – You think she’s gonna try to take out Sean? 

 

DinkCrusher – I’m gonna find a security camera and watch. 

 

BJ69 – Ditto. Maybe we’ll see a GJ marbelised. 

 

DinkCrusher – Don't think so. She might be a GJ, but that bitch has serious balls coming here. I think she’s got a shot at making it out alive. 

 

BJ69 – Wanna bet? Loser has to be Sean’s new BJ. 

 

DinkCrusher – Done. 

 

BJ69 – May the worst Janet win. 


End file.
